I have 5 kids.

No matter how many times I say that or think that or write that it's still insane to really internalize that statement.  I have 5 kids!  It's like a crazy form of reality for me.  When Dan and I got married we both said we both wanted 4 or 5 kids.  But when we had a few we realized how much harder parenting is than we had originally thought.  But here we are- we made it to 5 kids.  I'm proud of us for taking that crazy leap and continued to have kids even though it felt a little crazy to have so many.  The hardest part of parenting for me for sure (so far) is the newborn stage.  It's like everything in your life comes to a screeching halt and your life is a blur of sleepless nights, screaming baby and no patience for anything (not for your kids, not for your husband, not for anything...).  I feel like a hot mess all the time. But minus the hot part.  I rarely get make up on.  Maybe once a week.  And sadly I don't shower nearly as often as I probably should.  I may or may not have had a day or two when I have to count back to the last time I had a shower since it wasn't yesterday or the day before.  Mega gross!  But yes I am trying to enjoy and cherish this precious time since they aren't small for very long.  I can tell you this much for sure- I enjoyed her a whole heck of alot more the first 2-3 weeks.  Which was before she had colic super bad and stopped sleeping good at night and stopped letting me lay her down.  Ever.


OK I probably shouldn't blog when I'm under rested and over worked.  (I do have 5 kids ;)  But I was at the dr. today for Jill's 1 month check.  (She weighed 10 pounds 10 oz.  And was 21 3/4 inches long.)  Anyways I had to pick up scott from school right before because he has a cough and he couldn't stop coughing in class and decided he wanted to come home because his chest hurt so bad.  Anyways- so I had me and 4 kids at the dr. and I was sitting there looking at the kids and me and had a sad sad realization.  Today I looked like THAT mom.  The one who none of her kids have their hair brushed.  The 2 year old had food mess on her face.  I was in too tight of workout pants because I don't have jeans that fit me at the moment. And a baggy t-shirt because I still have a baby gut.  I didn't have any make up on and my hair was in a pathetic messy pony tail.  I had bags under my eyes, spit up on my shoulder, and a defeated look on my face.  I was that mom today.  Sad tired messy messy mom.  At least my kids were very well behaved.  One gold star in my corner...

 

Anyways- I really need to start making an effort at life again.  I need to get my kids looking presentable before we leave the house again.  I need to buy at least one pair of jeans that look good on me right now.  And I need to start showering daily and putting on make up just to feel like a human again.  I need to do all these things but sadly I just don't have the effort in me when I am like 5000 hours backlogged on sleep.  Phew parenting is hard.  But right now I have a 10 pound 10 ounce little sleeping princess on my arm and she smells wonderfully like a new baby.  And she makes sweet sweet baby noises from time to time when she sleeps.  And she is a little piece of heaven and I really do love her so so so much and I really will miss having a teeny tiny person to snuggle on.  So for today (and probably several more after today) I'm going to be messy mom.  And my house is going to be messy.  Because this time is short.  They don't stay little forever and someday when  I'm getting more sleep I'll look back at how teensy she was and miss it so hard it'll hurt.  So here's to snuggling on teensy sleeping babies while you still can.  :)

Here's some pics of me snuggling on mine.